Letter From The Front
by MelleCamille11
Summary: Rachel is in NYC and Finn in the army, however he had make his number one priority to send her a letter a day. But what happens when someday Rachel stop writting him back? Finn and Rachel's struggles in their new life, told through letters from various characters. Epistolary Fanfiction!
1. Prologue

_**Author's note:**_

**This is only the prologue to set up everything. It is obviously set after the "Goodbye" episode. Every new chapter will be a letter, I'll try to change the writter's character as often as the plot will allow me to do it :) I should upload pretty soon since summer break is finally here :) I also want to add for people who were reading my Monchele fictions, that it had been removed, but if you want the final chapter PM me and I'll send it to you! Anyway, I hope you will enjoy this new fanfiction thank you for reading and reviewing.**

_I do not own Glee, its characters or anything that is mentioned here - If I did, season 3 wouldn't have ended that way..._

* * *

It was gone. He could still see it, but it was far away. The train on which Rachel was, the 4:25 going to New-York was now almost out of sights and Finn was standing there, staring at nothing in particular trying not to cry.

He had to be strong in that car. He had to do it for Rachel, even if it broke his heart but deep inside him he knew it was the right thing to do : Rachel was his all, she was that person who made him who he was today; she changed him for the better, she gave him confidence, she showed him that he was worth something, she made him feel like he was special and above all she gave him her heart by loving him everyday even though he was not the perfect boyfriend he wished he could be with her. She had done_ so_ much for him but now it was his turn, he had to be a man. He had to do something that he will be proud of later in his life. What kind of guy would he be, if he had let Rachel stay for him in Lima instead of pursuing her big dreams in New-York?

He knew what he had just done was the right thing to do. After his big talk with Rachel's dads he had called Mr. Schue to ask him if he could inform Mrs. Pillsbury and every members of the Glee club to come say goodbye to Rachel at the Lima train station. Finn was thinking about what he had just told Rachel in the car, that they had to surrender. It was easy to say to her, but now that she was gone, he wasn't even sure if he was going to be able to make it. Finn knew that, with Rachel they were something special, they had_ that_ thing between them. He couldn't find the word to define it, but they had this unbreakable link from heart to heart : they were tethered.

Tears were starting to roll down his cheeks, and he was still scanning the horizon with this hopeless wish he would see Rachel on the train. He suddenly felt a strong hand grabbing his shoulder. Puck. He would recognize his friend's "greeting" in a million of others.

"Listen Puckerman if you're here to make fun of me because I am a corny lady, cheesy boyfriend or whatever other lame name you have for me, it's not the right time and I am not in the mood for that!" Finn let out as he was attempting, in vain, to dry his tears with the sleeve of his jacket.

"Wow calm damn dude! I am here to tell you that what you did for Rachel was brave, and no Noah Puckerman would have been able to do the same bro! You did love that crazy chick right?"

"Thank you…I guess. Rachel is not crazy, and yes I did love her, I still do and I always will. She… She is the love of my life Puck. It hasn't even been ten minutes that this damn train left with Rachel on it, and I already miss her_ so_ much!"

"Then tell her before some Broadway douche try to make a move on your girl!"

"Rachel would never do that! I know she's upset right now but she also understand why I did this. I trust her."

"You can trust her, but do you really trust other guys? I mean, it's college you know, which there're always some scumbags somewhere around."

Finn was no longer facing Puck but back at staring in the horizon. After calming down, as much as he could, he turned back to his friend, not even caring if Puck saw his puffy red eyes and the tears streaming down his face. He honestly couldn't care less. His mind was somewhere else, somewhere with Rachel. But somehow his thoughts were troubled with what Puck said. He knew Rachel would never cheat on him. Sure there was the whole Santana-gate but that was a long time ago, and she technically didn't really cheated on him, and anyway their relationship had reach that stage where they had absolute trust in each other. The problem was not Rachel, but those guys. Puck was right, idiots are everywhere and Rachel…well, Rachel is all kind of cute and hot at the same time; and he knows how guys are – he can't really blame them though, but that's not a reason for them to even eye drop on his Rachel.

"Listen Puck, I…erm… I am going to stay here a little bit, I need to be alone. Please say thank you to everyone and tell them that you guys can go home."

"You're sure?" asked Noah.

"Yeah, yeah. I just need to think about everything you know… Thank you for coming, Rachel and I truly appreciate it; I mean…Hum… I do and I'm sure she did too." answered Finn, while he was trying to find his car's keys in his pocket.

After saying goodbye to his friend, Finn finally found his keys, and headed to his car, with his mind racing with a lot of idea. He had a plan. He was going to remind Rachel how much he loves her and tell her how he misses her already. Driving back home, he stopped downtown to buy stamps. Although he always thought he wasn't good with words, he was going to write down all he needed to tell her. Yes he had a plan: write Rachel one letter a day.

* * *

**If you're reading this part, well thank you! That truly means a lot :) I hope you appreciate it!**


	2. You Are The Love Of My Life

**_Author's Note:_**

**Hi everyone! Thank you for the reviews and everythings! You're all the best :) Here's the first letter, from Rachel to Finn :) Hope you will enjoy it! Let me know what you think :)**

* * *

_NYADA_

_New-York City_

_NY_

_September 27th 2012_

Dear Finn,

It has been more than a month now that classes have started here. NYADA is definitely everything I was looking for in a college. Living with Kurt and Santana is not always easy, but most of the time I am glad they are here with me. Well, Kurt is usually not even here because of all the internships he has to do for his fashion and design school, so he has to travel a lot; did I tell you he was going to Paris in November for the Fashion Week? I have to admit I am a bit jealous! As far as Santana is concerned, well, I am the first one to be surprised to be writing this, but we really have become great friends and I am so thankful she is here with me!

I know we have been discussing a lot about this, since we started to write each other emails or letters (since I cannot call you), but I understand why you did what you did at the train station. You will never know how I am truthfully thankful; I would not be here if it was not for what you did. And you know, most girls would be mad in that situation, but I have been appreciated the drama of it – you know how I am. I know it has been a long time since all of this happened, but I want you to know, Finn, that I am still yours. I don't want you to think that I will give myself and my heart to someone else than you. Remember when I told you, you were the love of my life? Well you still are.

I also needed to say that I was proud of you for what you are doing for your father. I know it has always been a sensitive point, and I am sure it means a lot to you. Remember in our senior year when Mr. Shue had us doing that assignment about disco and you told me about your dreams and our future here? I have to admit I would rather have you here by my sides, but you are accomplishing great things Finn; trying to redeem your father will not be easy, but I believe in you. I do, because I know that you do not give up easily, that you are stronger than you know and that you are the bravest. Finn, we might be miles away but I support you with all my heart, and if I can do anything from where I am, please tell me, it would be my pleasure to help you.

Anyway, since I last wrote you I have not been feeling very well. I have permanent migraines, I am really tired and dizzy. But don't worry I think it is just a lack of sleep because our professors and especially Ms. Tibideaux are very exigent and demanding. Not that I am complaining or anything but don't worry everything will be fine, and I have already made an appointment to the doctor just to check. Well even if I love speaking about me, I need to know about you and you are doing. I want to hear more about you and what you do every day? Last time you told me that one of your instructors was very mean, has he been nicer? Have you tried to sing something to him? I told you many times, that music is known to calm nerves. I also hope you eat well, and you take care of yourself Finn; now that I am not here, your mother and I cannot keep an eye on that, but has a grown-up man, I hope that you are taking care of yourself.

I know you don't have a permission for thanksgiving break, so I will send you a special basket with all the stuff you like; I just hope that, this time your instructors will not take it away from you. Rather than that, I am counting down the day until Christmas break to finally see you. Santana and Kurt are even making fun of me, because every morning I check the calendar in the kitchen, just as an advent calendar. I have already planned many things for us to do together.

I hope you are doing well Finn.

I miss you and love you, more than you will ever know. You truly are the love of my life, and every night I wish upon a star named Finn Hudson, the one you got me for Christmas, that I will see you soon.

With all my love,

Rachel Berry.

* * *

**I know it was short but I still hope you like it :) Drama will come in about one or two chapter...Oh wait next chapter actually :) !**


	3. What Are You Affraid Of?

_**Author's note:**_

**Sorry for this late update, I thought vacations would give me more time to write but I guess the sun has decided that being out most of the days is better... Anyway, here's a new letter from Finn to Rachel :) Thank you again for the favoriting and the reviews, it truly means the world to me when you take the time to do it!**

* * *

_FORT BENNING_

_GA_

_October 15th 2012_

Rachel,

Yes baby, it's me again. But it has literally been eighteen day since I last receive a letter from you or any kind of signs that you were alive. I know because I did count it, twice to check, and Kurt even helped me. I talked with him. And of course I know you are still alive, but he said he doesn't know what is up with you, because of all this stuffs he has to do for college. I don't really understand, he talked to me about velvet, silk, cotton, and I think I got that part. But then he started to go on rambling about haute couture and he spoke about Christian Louboutin, Manolo Blahnik, Jimmy Choo (if that's how you write it)…and I asked him if these were people and he sighed, you will have to explain it to me, I'm sure as smart as you are, you know these people or whatever it is if they're not people. I am going out of the point (that is the correct saying, right?), I was writing about how Kurt pretended that he doesn't know why you don't email, write or try to call me. I am sure he knows, because I can totally tell when he lies; his eyebrows do something weird, the corners of his lips goes up and then his voice is higher than it already is. I know you two are really close so he has to know, you must have told him since you are like "twinsies" – Kurt taught me that word – whatever, I need to know if I did something wrong and if I did, what is it? Is it about what happened back in May at the train station? Because if so, I thought you understand that, I mean we talked about it over and over on the phone before I got here in Georgia, and even in your last letter you told me you understand my motives. I know it is not the reason why you are not speaking to me. I tried to think over and over about what I could have done or said in my last few letters that might have upset you, but I can't think about anything.

I know eighteen days is not like a lot, but Rach, trust me eighteen days without reading your handwriting, or an email printed out from the lieutenant computer or earing your voice on the phone on my very rare breaks, is _so_ freaking long, it's like an eternity. Every time I have a letter or something from you, it brightens my day, it really does. After a long day of running, crawling and exercising in the mud under the rain or an intense sun, with our instructor's yelling voices in the back, when I am totally exhausted of all this crap, your letters are like magic; it's like everything is better and I know why I am here. Knowing that you are in the city of your dreams, fulfilling everything you have planned makes me happy. But sometimes I feel like I am still holding you back from those big dreams of yours; I don't want you to miss anything of New-York and your college years just because I am in Georgia. And even if that makes me selfish, at the same time, I don't want to let you go of me, because you're mine; only God knows how much I love you and how much you changed me. And if there's one thing I am sure of, in this crappy situation, it's my love for you. So Rach, please live your dreams, live them and live them big and as much as you can; don't be afraid to do what you need to do to be happy.

Putting a label or a name on our relationship status is a hard thing to do, but as your boyfriend-still-kind-of-fiancé-and-future-husband, it's my role to protect you. And here I am, miles apart from you, being worried. I really am Rachel, last night, I only sleep for about 4 hours, and you know how I love me some sleep. What I want to say is, I know you, I know how you are, how you think and how you work (not the homework), so eighteen long, really long days without any sign of your existence means there is some kind of problems. I know you are ok, because if you weren't Kurt or my mom would have told me, so it has to be with me, it has to be with something I have done. And I really can't think about it, I tried, I promise I tried. So please Rachel, tell me what is it, because this is getting on my mind every time I try to do something. I can only think about you being mad at me, or sad because I did something stupid. And that literally makes me sick, it kills me to know you are hurt because of my douchy self. I love you, and the last thing I want to happen to you is being hurt. This morning one of our instructors asked us a question : "_what are you afraid of_?", and with all honesty, all I could think about was losing you. Whatever I did, we can work on it because we've come so far and we've been through so much individually and together that I know we can. What we have is real. So I beg you Rachel, even if it's a line or just a word please write me and tell me what is happening.

Although I am not right there with you in New-York, take comfort in the fact that I am watching you from above, Finn Hudson the star will always be with you. I know it's hard for me, and I am complaining a lot about it in my letters and even again in this one, but I am sure it's even harder for you, but I know how strong you are Rachel, and you can do this, we can do this. Christmas break will soon be around the corner, and I will be home with you.

I miss you. I really do miss you Rach. God, you have no idea _how much_ I miss you! My heart hurts every second I am far away from you and sometimes I even cry at night because you're not by my side. It's harder and harder every day to deal without you because I miss everything about you. Your touch, your lips, the smell of your hair, your unique and beautiful voice, your smile, the sound of your laugh, your beautiful eyes, your rants about animal cruelty and how unfair it is Mr. Shue didn't give you a solo, your long speech about why we should watch Funny Girl for the umpteenth time, your obsession with gold star, your tiny hands and how they perfectly feet in my giant ones; I miss when you lie and tell me I improved my dance moves, I miss calling you back when you hang up on me after we have a fight, I miss our duets and your solos, I miss kissing you to shut you up when you are mad at me, I miss writing and passing you love notes in Glee, I miss going to the lake at night watching the stars with you and listening to your heartbeat, as creepy as it sounds I miss staying awake just to watch you sleeping next to me, I miss holding your hand in public and showing you off as my girlfriend, I miss driving you home after our date and making out in my car even if your fathers are watching us from the window, I miss when you were taking care of me, I miss your kisses and I miss you doing many other things (involving our naked bodies), that you'd kill me if I wrote them down here…and fuck I miss you Rach! I know, I should watch my language, but it hurts so much that it is making me cry. I just miss you _so_ much Rachel – and I know your life can go on without me, that you can be a successful, talented and happy Broadway star without me. But please, know, that even if you forget me, or even turn me away, I will still decide to stay with you. I will be your Finn forever, even if I become a simple stranger to you, because to me, you will always be my Rachel.

I love you and always will. Not just for now but forever and I am counting down the days until I can take you again in my arms.

Finn H.

PS: I know I shouldn't ask you that, and especially when you are mad at me, but can you put some of those amazing cookies you baked last Christmas, in my Thanksgiving basket that I am sure you are still planning to send me even though you're not speaking to me. I can't help writing it one more time: I love you.

* * *

**Et voilà! I hope that it was good enough to keep you intrested until the next letter! Until then, thank you again :)**


	4. From Paris, With Love

**_AN:_**

** Hello everyone! I am extremely SO very sory for this late update. I have been kind of busy, and this letter was hard to write as I needed to chose particular words not to give away all the reasons why Rachel has been like this with Finn, too soon. So yes, I am really sorry... and I hope none of you has lost interest in this story, as I know there're amazing ones out there! :)**

**I love you all & thank you for everything!**

* * *

_Hôtel de Crillon_

_Paris_

_FRANCE_

_November 19th 2012_

Hi Broadway twinsie!

Yes, it's me Kurt! Guess from where I am writing this letter? Yes PARIS! I actually cannot believe that I am writing this letter not only from a prestigious and sumptuous palace but also from Paris! Paris like in France! France like in Europe! Europe like out of America and especially out of Lima, Ohio! Can you believe that baby girl? One day I promise you, we will get there just the two of us, you and me; and believe me, we will call it the trip of our life (I don't care what Finn will plan for your future honeymoon, but that will definitely tap it)! I promise you everyone is so good looking here! And the boys…Oh boys! I have never seen in my entire life, so many attractive men in such a short time! And the stores! Especially the designers ones! Rachel, you would be crazy! It's like every clothes are made for me and are calling my name like "Kurt! Kurt! Look at me, I'll fit you perfectly, now buy me!" The city is so gorgeous too! And tomorrow I'll finally attend my very first fashion show! I cannot believe this is actually happening! Music and theatre will always be my first loves, you know that, but I am glad to have all these new opportunities while I am figuring out if I should apply again for NYADA for next fall… But that is another subject… Although I have told you this a thousand times, I am really proud of you and extremely happy that you got into the school of your dreams. I truly have no resentments or bitterness anymore about it. Both, you and me know that this is what you were made for. You belong there.

Anyway, the NYADA subject is not the main purpose of this letter, nor is my trip to Paris. Yes, you do know why I am writing to you: Finn. We need to talk about you and Finn. Even though he is my stepbrother and I am almost like your brother, I do not stick up for yours or Finn's side. I do not have to make a choice, because I don't want to lose any of you. You have to know that right now, Finn is beyond desperate. He is miserable without you. He has been pestering literally everyone with letters, emails and phone calls. Last time he called Carole, he spent the entire phone call trying to extract information from her, just as if she would know something about you or why you have been MIA (with him). He sent letters to everyone from Glee. The other day, he told me, he wanted to contact Miss Sylvester and Principal Figgins, because according to him, they might know something. This has reached a ridiculous stage of nonsense whatsoever. And the worse, Rachel, is that he is plagued by remorse! He is convinced that he did something wrong to you. SO, you have to answer him Rachel. For Heaven's sake, you have to answer him, because I am sick of this situation and sincerely I am not going to keep your secret any longer. Besides I hate lying, I read in last Vogue issue that it can give you wrinkles! Anyway, you have to tell him the truth about this whole situation. It will be better for you and for him. You cannot keep asking Santana, me and everyone to lie to him, you cannot keep lying to him like this; this is too much. But I must say that while I firmly disapprove your method to deal with this problem, you know I am your friend and that I will always have your back and be there for you. But please, please! I beg you, send him a letter, an email, call him, go there or whatever, but please talk to him. And I am sure, no, I am persuaded that he will understand when you will explain this to him. You have to stop blaming yourself and keeping this as a secret. I actually cannot believe you keep this away so long from me and Santana while we were living with you! Speaking of the devil… Santana is definitely not "dealing well" with Finn's extreme concern for you. The other day, she said if it was not for you, that she would have told Finn a long time ago.

Now I understand your motive to hide this "piece of news", but Finn has the right to know. And for everyone's sake, he must know, and soon, because our favorite Latina (yes, I am referring to Santana here) is not going to last long before spilling the truth. I know, this must be hard for you, but Rachel you are a strong, independent, self-driven, talented and amazing woman. You can face Finn and tell him, he won't be as devastated as you think, well maybe a little. Ok, he will be devastated, but he will get over it. He will. And he will, because he loves you. You know I never told you this before, but I have to admit that Finn and you make me believe that true love does really exist. You are both so different, just like opposites, but you complement one another in a perfect way. Who on earth, in William McKinley High would have believe that three years ago? When you were just an annoying girl who was slushied on a daily basis and he was just that stupid popular quarter-back tossing kids into the dumpers? With all you both went through, you deserve to tell him the truth, because I know how keeping a secret is hard. And Finn deserves to know. He was about to marry you a couple month ago Rachel. Do not pretend your relationship doesn't mean anything to you anymore, just as if you forgot about him and all you guys had. Don't do that, because I am sure it means a lot to you, more than you will ever admit it to yourself. And don't roll your eyes Rachel, because I am sure you are probably rolling your eyes and sighing as you are reading this few last lines, but you know I am right, Kurt Hummel is always right. I will say these few last words: what you and Finn have is rare; it is what most people see in romantic movies, it is what Barbra sings about. So tell him.

I love you Rachel, you are my best friend, my Broadway twinsie, my baby girl, my soul mate; and all I want for you is the best, never forget that. I will try to calm down Santana when I'll have her on the phone, and I will try to "smooth down" our crazy Finn. Thanksgiving break is just around the corner, you must be excited I am sure of it, you are probably already packing right now to go home, as I know NYADA gave you a special and exceptional permission to go home earlier; some people doesn't have this chance… I won't complain too much as I am in Paris. I will see you soon.

Please say hi to your fathers and everyone when you will be back in Lima. And take care of yourself.

From Paris with love (I always dreamed to say that),

Kurt Hummel, your best friend.

* * *

**So what do you think this is all about...? I'd like to have your theories :) Hope you enjoyed this letter!**

**I am already working on the next one...hardest thing I had to write so far, you'll see why...**

**Until then, thank you again a lot to all of you!**


	5. These Were The Golden Days

_**AN:**_

**Dear everyone who is reading this, first of all thank you again for all your kind words, reviews, favoriting, following... I think I wrote 4 or 5 versions of this letter. I couldn't bring myself to upload it, because...well you'll understand the obvious reasons when you will be done reading, but I have to keep writting this fiction right? Anyway, I will save you any of my usual rants, so now onto the story because Finn has some mail from Rachel! Finally...**

* * *

_Lima_

_OH_

_November 22nd 2012_

Dear Finn,

Today is the 22nd of November, which means it's Thanksgiving. I am back in Lima to celebrate. I know how_ much_ you love this celebration; I remembered when you told me it was your favorite one after Christmas, because you were allowed by your mother to eat a lot! I am certainly not writing to you to speak about Thanksgiving, but I do want to wish you a happy and wonderful Thanksgiving, and I also wanted to let you know that I was really thankful and endlessly grateful to had you in my life as my boyfriend, fiancé and almost husband. I will always cherish the great times we had together and all the memories we were able to create. You made me happy Finn, you made me a better person. With you by my sides, everything was possible; I was not this wild, crazy, annoying, self-centered, Jewish girl anymore. I was me, Rachel. You brought me something I was missing; you were not just my boyfriend, you were _so_ much more. And when I will look back to these times, later in life, I will always smile and remember how life was beautiful with you Finn. I am _SO_ thankful you let me enter into your life, and you let me love you. These were the best days, these were the golden days – and nobody, nothing, even time, will take that away from me. Nothing will compare to you, to that first kiss we had or to that single moment when I first give myself to you, the boy I loved, the boy of my dreams. I loved you _so_ much at that moment Finn, and I still do, and I will probably love you even more tomorrow.

You are a leader, a gentleman and a hero. But more than all of this, to me you are my first love and nothing will ever change that. I am proud of you, more than you will ever know. You are wearing the uniform of our country and you are fighting for your dreams. You have become such a great man; you are an example for everyone. You showed to the world that you were not just a football player; you showed that you had dreams, and you are turning them into reality Finn. I am sure your mother is really proud of you too, I know how hard it must have been in the beginning for her, but she has the best son she could ask for. Although I wasn't thrilled too, when you told me you were leaving for the army, I support your decision; I will always do all that I can to protect you from where I am. I want you to have the courage to follow your heart, dreams and intuitions, because somehow they know what you truly want. Never give up on that Finn. _Never_.

I cannot bring myself to write this without tears and I hope you will somehow forgive and understand me for these following lines. They are going to be hard for you, but please don't be mad and try to understand; I need you to hear me out. I have been avoiding you and especially writing this letter, but this is not fair to you Finn and you must know the truth; that is the least I can do. Avoiding you and lying to you is like saying our love did not mean anything, when it is the absolute contrary. First I want to apologize for my stupid and childish behavior, I should have replied to your letters, email and phone calls; I am_ truly_ sorry if I worried you or if it distracted you. I have been thinking about this, long and hard, and I have come to the conclusion that we should end our relationship. I am terribly sorry I have to announce you this break-up through a letter and I wish you were here to speak about it in person, but we both know that it is not possible... You have to understand that I made this choice, and I hope you will respect and understand it. We should go our separate ways; it is the best for us. You are in the army, and I am sure I am a disturbance in your way to success and your future. Also, my schedule with NYADA and auditions, is very over-loaded, I barely have time to work out, sleep and eat. I guess this whole time apart is too much for us and our relationship. I wish I did not have to write these words, but I met someone here in New-York, nothing official, it is only the beginning; but I wanted you to be the first one to know, not to hear it from someone else you know… I hate saying that and I know it will sound like an excuse, but believe me when I say that I didn't mean to meet someone else. I wish things would have been different, I _really_ do. And I don't expect you to understand this relationship as I cannot, myself, explain it.

I understand if you hate me, but if you are still reading at this point and you have not burn down this letter, I want you to know that you will always have a very special place in my heart: I will _always_ carry you in my heart; you were my first love after all, and almost my husband. I thought I knew what love was but then I fell in love with you; and you, _only you_, made me understand what true love was, that is one of the main reasons I accepted to marry you. Never have doubt about this, I loved you unconditionally and completely with everything I have, my heart and my soul; I will never regret this Finn, and if I had to do it again, I will do it in a heartbeat. So if you are blaming yourself for this break-up, please don't, I am the one to be blame; and I guess circumstances didn't help us... Everything about you is perfect, never let anyone get you down or make you believe the contrary.

I want to thank you for everything you have given and done for me Finn. Friendship, love, joy, laugh, faith, hope, confidence…everything. Thank you for being my confident, my best friend and my lover. As I wrote it in the beginning of this letter, you are one of the best things that happened to me in life. And I will_ never ever_ stop thanking you for that. I wish you all the best in your future, though I have no doubts you don't need it because I am sure you are doing great. And I know, no, I am one hundred percent positive, Finn, you will meet another girl who truly deserves you. You must certainly hate me right now, and I understand it. But this girl will make you happy; she will fix you just as you fixed me. You will love her, even more than you did love me, and all this pain and anger will go away – this, me and our relationship will only be an old memory. A good one, I hope. And let me tell you, this girl will be lucky; she will be the luckiest girl on earth. She will make you happy – you deserve it Finn. And someday you will have children with her, and I am sure you will be a great dad! You deserve your happy ending, and if you are lucky enough, you are never going to see me again.

Please don't try to change my mind; as I told you, I made this decision after a strong and wise reflection. And if you loved me and if our relationship meant something to you, you will not try to contact me, ever again. This will be the last letter or memory you will ever have of me. I hope you will understand, and that there is no bitterness in you. Again, I wish you the best in life Finn, but I have no worries for that.

So this is it, Goodbye Finn.

Love always,

_Rachel Berry._

* * *

_**AN 2:**_

**I know you are all hating me right now, and I hate myself too for writting this. It wasn't easy, I promise! About Rachel's new love interest, I didn't add him to the letter because of the new spoilers about Rachel and Brody, I actually wrote this before it even came out from FOX in an interview (anyway I don't claim the idea or anything, RIB are just my kings - when they don't tear Rachal and Finn apart). Anyway, I had to write this, and it was hard - believe me.**  
**Looking forward to read your reviews (please don't hate me too much..)!**

**Xoxo Camille!**


	6. Please Tell Me If She Is Happy

**_AN:_**

**Look likes Santana has something in the mailbox from Finn...**

**I am absolutely so sorry to update now, I have good excuses though (was down at my vacations beach and I had problem with Wifi)! Anyway, I wanted Finn to go to Santana because I like how they're so different yet they have a lot in common (I mention, I mean Finn mentions the time he picked up earrings with her - I added that because of the deleted scene from the Christmas episode. If you haven't seen it yet, you should it's lovely and it made me love Finchel even more). I still cannot believe I made Rachel broke up though... Anyway thank you for still being here and for eveything. Next chapter will be here soon before I leave again one last time before going back to school :(  
Please let me know if you enjoyed :)**

**Xo. Camille!**

* * *

_FORT BENNING_

_GA_

_December 1st, 2012_

Santana,

Yes this Finn, _again_. I know I have been more than bothering and annoying to you this past few weeks. I apologize for it, but you know how I am when it comes to Rachel. I am sorry I have been almost harassing you with all my letters, mails and everything. I am pretty much sure you understand the situation though (Rachel was MIA, and I was trying to understand why), and I am sure that Kurt told you she broke up with me in her last letter; well I am also almost a hundred percent positive Rachel told you the whole story since you guys are like roommates, right? So let's skip the "I didn't know, I am sorry" part.

I wouldn't be disturbing you, but I have no other choices. Rachel made it very clear in her last and very last letter that she didn't want me to try to contact her, ever again. As much as I want to respect her wish, she never forbade me to write about her and her decision to dump me, with someone else. That's the part where you are probably sighing and asking yourself "_Why on earth gigantor finnocence want to speak about his sweetheart romance with his annoying girlfriend with me_?" – or something along these lines, with more swearing I guess. Anyway I am rambling here, so you're probably wondering why I need your help. Because frankly, yes I _really_ do need your help. As odd as it sounds, you and Rachel are now friends. You've been living with her, sharing the same apartment, speaking with her and everything; so my point is that you must know something. You must know something because I am sure that Rachel wouldn't just simply dump me like that, and especially just with a letter. There must be something more behind this, some kind of reason! I know she explained her motives in her last letter, but I don't know it just simply didn't sound like her. It is just so not like her to do that. I have been thinking about it hard, again and again, and I still don't understand. Why would she give up on us because of my future in the army when she told me she was okay with me being away? Why would she give up on us because she can't keep up with her NYADA schedule and auditions (we both know Rachel is _never_ behind and she can _always_ keep up with everything, she's like some kind of super hero)? And moreover why would she give up on us because of some stupid NYADA dude? NO! Just_ fucking no_! That made no sense to me when I read the letter and it still doesn't make any more sense as I am writing this! I won't contact Rachel, because she asked me not to, but I know you will help me Santana. We have some weird history together, but I care about you and I consider you as a close friend – I hope this is mutual; so I assume you will be willing to help me to understand what is going on with my girlfriend, I mean Rachel…

I know what you are thinking: "_why isn't he asking Kurt, his brother and Rachel's best friend?_". Well first, he is really busy in Paris, which is not really helping. Second of all, he is like Rachel's closest friend so I don't think if he will want to do that behind Rachel's back; I know it's not like I am betraying Rachel but I guess she wouldn't appreciate what I am doing.

Remember when you helped me pick up these earrings for Rachel's Christmas/Hanukkah present? You asked me if really loved her – I remember telling you that words weren't enough to express how much I love her; this is not the case anymore, because I love Rachel even more than back then. I know you are going to think I am cheesy, but Rachel is my soulmate. She is_ the one_, I know it and I feel it in every one of my heartbeats, in my guts and in my soul. This is why I am not giving up on us, we are not just a sweetheart high school couple that broke up because their relationship didn't bear the distance apart; we are much more; we were almost wife and husband damnit! She is the reason why I made it through high school and the man I am today. She made me feel happy, confident, strong and loved and now – now that she's gone I am supposed to just let it go? _No_, I refuse this.

I know you don't owe me anything, and that you probably have a thousand reasons to say "no" but would you please tell me if Rachel is serious with this; tell me who this guy is and how far their relationship is, are they like a real couple or something? And tell me, just please talk to me about her, because God! I miss her so much. Tell me how she is doing with NYADA, what are the recent songs and performances she has done. Is New-York what she has always dreamed of? Please, tell me if she's happy and if she smiles and sings in the morning in the bathroom like she used to. Is she still a vegan? Does she still watch "Funny Girl" every Sundays? Just… just talk to me about her – please.

I am aware this is a lot to ask and it could be bothering you as you are friend with her, but I am asking you this because I am sure, deep down you understand because you would do the same if it were Brittany and if you were me. You and I are similar in more than a way you think, Santana, so please consider at least answering me. And please don't tell Rachel I wrote you.

Thank you forward. Thank you so much Santana.

_Sincerely,_

_Finn Hudson._

* * *

_**AN2:**_

**That was not as long as I wanted but I hope you guys liked it. Do you guys still have ideas about what's going on with Rachel? You will have a few more clues in the next chapter I promise but I can give out everything...yet! I know, I am evil ;)**  
**Thank you again!**


	7. It Is For The Best & For Your Best

_**AN:**_

**New chapter! Santana is finaly answering Finn's letter!**

* * *

_New-York_

_NY_

_December 10th, 2012_

Dear Finn,

What's up? Well I guess I shouldn't be asking this question…

Believe it or not, but I am _finally_ answering your letter – the odds might be in your favor today! At first I was planning not to do it, but then I realized that if I didn't, you will send me letters until my last breath, so I thought it would be a better plan to answer. I am joking here gigantor! But with all the seriousness of this wild and crazy world, we need to talk, or should I say I need to talk to you.

So look, I don't say this that much, but I am not really comfortable about speaking about Miss _"Musical Jewish Icon"_ behind her back. I know it must have been pretty harsh on you, all of this. The army, being away from her, and well, the _"Dear John"_ letter she send you. I have to admit Rachel really surprised me with that. I always thought that you would be the one leaving her first – ok not funny, but I am joking again here, Finn. So as I was saying, I don't really like this idea about sending you a letter mostly about her, when in the meantime she doesn't want you to write anything to her and she basically doesn't want to have anything to do with you anymore; that would be consider as betrayal, right? But I guess, because it's you, I can do that – but listen, Rachel never has to know about this; because she would literally kill me according to some kind of twisted plot. As you said it in your letter, we have some kind of weird history together. But as much as I cannot believe it myself, I kind of like you. Don't get your hopes too high here Finny, I still only play for the other team! But yes, you are my friend; and friends are here to help each other, aren't they? Don't say to anyone I wrote those lines, because I will have to use my hidden razor blades on you, and I will obviously deny I wrote this letter. And as crazy as it is, you are right, you and I, have a lot in common. So I am helping you, first because you are my friend, second because you will owe me something, and last because you and diva Rachel are the one who made me believe in real love (don't tell anyone I wrote this neither).

So Miss Bossy Pants… I mean, Rachel. Well, first when she told you that she was really busy with her NYADA schedule and her Broadway and off-Broadway auditions, it is actually an understatement. Rachel is literally spending all her days either singing, dancing, acting or going to lectures, when she's not doing that she is going to auditions in town and out of town. And she's having a hard time with her ballet teacher who has decided to turn Rachel's life in a living hell. Believe me, she's working like crazy - the girl barely has time to sleep and eat. But don't worry too much, she's enjoying it, it's her dreams coming true - all of this, NYADA, being here in the city. She can have a pretty bad temper, but I guess you can blame stress and her lack of sleep for that; but most of the time she's still our dearest Rachel: determined, passioned, focused. I have to admit, I am proud of myself because I _finally_ managed to have a word on her wardrobe : no more animals sweaters! You can thank me later for that...

Now I don't really know how to put this into words that won't hurt you. About that guy... Finn you have to believe me, if I had to choose between you and this total douche, I'll definitely put my money on you. The guy is the typical mama's boy from Manhattan, and when I say Manhattan, I mean the Upper East Side. Let me tell you a bit more about him: he thinks he can do anything and he is above everyone, just because his family owns half of the city and he is one of the honor students of NYADA. The typical stupid, idiot and arrogant douchebag! But as hard as it is to write that, he is good with Rachel. He treats her right, and she's happy by his sides. I know this might be hurtful, but he really put a smile on Rachel's pretty face, and these days it's the only rare times I see her smiling. Ok now, breathe Hudson. On the bright side, their relationship is not what you guys had. Only you made Rachel happy at the most she can be, only you put a real and sincere smile on her face and only you could make her fall in love again and even more every single times she saw you. What I want to say, is that their relationship isn't really even a relationship. I cannot speak for Rachel, but I don't know where it is going for now. I tried to make her speak, but she doesn't even want to tell me if they passed second base!

Now I am going to tell you this as a friend, as hard as it is, Finn, you have to let go. I know this is hard, it might sound like the stupidest thing ever and it's probably the last thing you want to do right now, but _believe me_: it's the right thing for you and Rachel. She asked you to do it, she moved on, and you have to do the same. I am sure it's taking all over your mind and you cannot think about anything else, and it's probably affecting your future in the army. Don't lie to yourself, you know it. I know this isn't my place to tell you what to do, that I'm not your mom or your best friend but I know you will only get hurt if you keep holding on like this. You need to move forward and focus on the next step of your life. You know sometimes, stopping is the best way to save your feelings, and remember that letting go does not mean you forget Rachel completely or that you erase all the memories you had together, it just means that you find a way of living without her. You're a pretty good catch Finn, you'll find tons of girls outside of your base in Georgia. If I wasn't interesting in girls, I would probably with you already!

Now, I have to warn you one more time, _never ever_ tell Rachel I wrote this letter to you. Just don't, ok?!

I guess that's all I wanted to tell you. I told you what you wanted to know, so I hope you'll stop with your crazy letters and mails - seriously Hudson, I'm not joking that was just _so_ annoying and exhausting. I hope you will be fine. Ok you can send me one letter, but only if you're really not okay.

Remember, she did that to protect you. It's for the best and for _your_ best.

Your favorite people ever in the whole world and universe,

_Santana._

* * *

**AN2: Thank you for reading & favoriting/following! Reviews are much appreciated :)**


	8. It's Out Of Our Reach Now

**_AN:_**

**Santana has a letter from Kurt! This chapter give you A LOT of clues about what is up with Rachel and her recent attitude with Finn. Actually next chapter will be the turning point of the story... It'll be short but dramatic AND you will finally know what made Rachel do what she is doing. Now onto the story :)**

* * *

_Hôtel de Crillon_

_Paris_

_FRANCE_

_December 14th, 2012_

Dearest Santana,

I feel so sorry we haven't been able to speak, just the two of us, about the current twists and turns of what is happening. The last time we were able to talk about it, it was before Rachel sent _"the"_ letter to Finn and right after she told us about…_you know_… I still cannot believe that this is happening to her, and to us by the meantime. So I know me being away with these circumstances is not easy, first for Rachel but also for you, because let's be honest, as strong as you are, I am pretty sure it's a hard situation to deal all by yourself with, even for you. Anyway, I had Rachel on the phone two days ago, and she told me in details what she asked you to answer in your letter to Finn. And believe it or not, I got to speak with Finn via Skype yesterday – and yes he read me your letter (well the letter you send him but with what Rachel told you to say to him). If I am allowed to say a word about it, I think you went a little bit too forward with the NYADA/Manhattan guy… I don't know why, but I am pretty sure Rachel is not aware about that part you took the liberty to write, without telling her… Well I will pass on this, since this has become too dramatic.

Speaking about drama, Finn is no longer sad or heartbroken about Rachel breaking up with him. He is literally deplorably inconsolable and devastated. But on the other hand, the kid is definitely not giving up. That's even an understatement. I mean, since he received your last letter, he got all worked up about Rachel and her, I quote you, _"typical stupid, idiot and arrogant douchebag"_ boyfriend. Now, Finn wants to get her back by any way possible. I am telling you, he is not letting go and it is going to be hard to put that idea into his head. I hate lying to Finn, he is my brother! Well not technically I guess, but it's like he is to me. And I just hate lying to him, plotting schemes behind his back with Rachel and you, and above all I hate seeing him so hurt. He is not even himself anymore, it's like he is only the shadow of his former self. Who knew he was so madly and deeply in love with our princess Rachel? I mean, as far as I am concerned, I knew he loved her; they almost got married and he showed complete and truthful love and devotion to her at the train station when he let her go for New-York. But _never_ would I ever thought he would be reacting to this the way he is. They made me believe in love, _true love_. Now, I wish there was something we could do to bring them together – but, we both know that it's out of our reach now…

I still cannot bring myself to accept that this situation is real. You know how in psychological field they say that there is that five stages loss process? Well if I had to point on the scale where I am, I am pretty sure that would be denial. I am not even sad or angry for what is happening, because I don't want to accept that this is the truth, that this is actually really happening for real to her, to her family, to Finn and to us, her friends. And don't roll your eyes at my heart touching lines, Santana, because I am pretty sure you are crying reading this. Remember when Rachel told us about it, and we were both so chocked about it and how we wondered how she did to hide it from us for so long? I feel like it was ages ago, but it only was a few months ago. I don't understand how so much can happen in such a little time! And if there's one thing I don't understand, it's what Rachel did to her and Finn's relationship. Why couldn't she tell him the truth? It would have been hard, really hard, but I am sure Finn would have been there for her, he would still love her. I think she just sabotaged what they had because she was too scared to bring him the news. Of course I never discussed that with her, with anyone actually, but for me, she is making a huge mistake. I know she said, she did it only to protect Finn, because he wouldn't be able to deal with that and that he doesn't need this to affect his future, but what she doesn't understand is that she's hurting herself in the process, and Finn is now a "total mess" and he is actually loosing total interest in everything. It has the total opposite effect. I know she made her decision, and made it clear that she was sure about it, she wasn't going to change it and that she didn't want to speak about it; but I pray every fashion icons, that we could make her change her stubborn mind! But we both know how our dear Rachel is… And don't get me wrong I know this is one of the hardest things she is dealing with, but she shouldn't reject people, and especially Finn. Everyone, literally everyone know (all the kids from Glee, you and me, Mr. Schue, Ms. Pillsbury, etc) except Finn. Some days, I wake up and all I want to do is call Finn, or write him a letter to tell him the truth, everything: Rachel's situation, her Manhattan "boyfriend", and all the lies. I am just exhausting about this, I am constantly cautious and overly careful about what I do or say, because I am scared to do or say something that will jeopardize everything. But we have to stay strong for her; for our roomy, our friend, our Rachel!

Alright I need to go now, but take care of you and keep an eye on Finn and Rachel while I am not here. Oh! I was almost going to forgot: Are you going back to Lima for Christmas break? I will be lending at Fort Wayne International Airport on the 20th, I should be home in Lima by 5:00pm. If you do go back for the Holidays, I'll be beyond pleased to meet you at the Lima Bean coffee, to speak about this a little more and also I want to brag about my Parisian adventures in France! Just let me know if you can and what time would be good for you!

Love,

_Kurt H._

* * *

**_AN2: _Thank you for reading & favoriting/following! Reviews are much appreciated :) **


	9. The Love Ones They Are Leaving Behind

**_AN:_ Chapter deicated to my very dear bon-papa, Daniel. My guardian angel.**

* * *

_Lima Medical Center (LMD)_

_Lima_

_Ohio_

_December 20th, 2012_

Mr. Berry, Mr. Berry,

Your daughter, Rachel Berry, was examined at the Lima Medical Center last week for several tests:

- Complete blood count (CBC)

- Bone marrow examination / Trephine biopsy

These different tests were performed to know more about Rachel's leukemia: how expended it is, what the progression is, how aggressive it is and how is your daughter responding to her chemotherapy; we also wanted to know how affected her white blood cells, red blood cells and blood platelets were. The results show that Rachel's white blood cells are dysfunctional which prevent her immune system to fight off any kind of infections. As far as her red blood cells are concerned, we are worried about how insufficient they are. Finally the tests show that Rachel is lacking blood platelets.

We are sorry to announce you that your daughter is no longer responding to the chemotherapy she started earlier this September. As a relapsed patient, Rachel has to undergo an allogeneic bone marrow transplantation (allotransplantation) as soon as possible. As doctors, we must tell you that this is a risky surgery with an 87% probability of rejection of the transplantation, due to your daughter's condition and her relapse; in case a rejection would occur, she would undergo a Graft Versus Host disease (GVHD), which couldn't be treated at that stage: this would left us with no more treatments or alternative for Rachel.

Your daughter has already been placed on the organ transplant waiting list. With her conditions and her rare blood type we are not optimistic. We are aware that both of you, have been tested to be donor but the results came out as negativel, but we can schedule a test for any other family member who would volunteer to be a donor. In case a donor would be available, we will instantly contact you; that is why we ask you to keep a phone everywhere with you; we must warn you that a donor does not necessarily mean that the transplantation can be performed and moreover its success.

As Rachel's immune system is clearly too weak she must be hospitalized immediately, however the Lima Medical Center does not has the ability to offer a stable and safe environment for your daughter and is not able to perform such a surgery. Nevertheless, we recommend you to admit Rachel at a specialized oncolology service in a private clinic in Los Angeles, California, runned by Dr. Daniel (MD.); he is specialized in leukemia and other aggressive type of cancers, and is world wildly recognized for his work. We already booked a place for her in this clinic; therefore they are ready to admit Rachel as their patient, as soon as you are ready to take her in Los Angeles.

All in all, Rachel's chances to make it if we found a compatible donor are very low. That is why we recommend your daughter to organize her life while she is still able to do it, to make sure her will and business dealing, if there are any, are all sorted out. Most of the time, patients prepare videos or letter for family, friends and other important peoples to leave their last message. We are aware that learning about an advanced cancer brings patients intense emotions such as fear, anger and regrets because of the love ones they are leaving behind and the days they will not have; talking about these feelings is really important in the process, therefore we recommend Rachel to be followed by a specialist psychologist. This could help her accept and face her situation; Doctor Daniel will help and guide you to find the appropriate person.

We enclose the results of the tests with this letter. Please do not hesitate to contact us or to make an appointment, if you need any further details.

Sincerely,

_Andrew E. Perrin MD._

* * *

**_AN2:_ I am sorry for any grammar or misppeled words but I couldn't re-read this letter anymore.**

**Told you it was going to be short but shocking! Thank you for your reviews, favoriting & following; you are the best :)**

**Reviews are very much appreciated!**

****_All characters and events in this publication are fictious and any resemblance to real perso, living or dead, is purely coincidental._


	10. What Did I Do To Lose Your Love?

**_AN:_ Rachel has some mail... And guess from who? The one and only Finn Hudson!**

* * *

_Lima_

_OH_

_December 28th, 2012_

Dear Rachel,

It's killing me to be writing this letter to you. I know you made me promise not to contact you ever again, and I hate myself for breaking this promise. I swear Rachel, I wasn't going to write you any letter or try anything else to contact you, but I had to write this note. I had to, because you made me. Yes, _you_. Why? Well, on the 24th, on Christmas Eve, I received the engagement ring I gave you. The one I gave you to make me my wife, to grow older by your sides, the promise to love you for the rest of my life and even more. I open the UPS package that was addressed to me; inside it were just a velvet box and the ring resting inside of it. There wasn't anything else with it: no card, no "_I am sorry, here's your ring._" or "_Here you go, it was nice_." note. Nothing. _Fuck!_ You know what, that ring was the only thing that was still giving me some crazy helpless hope in us. All I needed was something to hold on to, even if it was imaginary. That's what the ring was. Knowing that you were still keeping the ring, made me feel like I was still important to you. But apparently you just don't give a _damn shit_ about how I feel, and what I want. Did I imagine everything? Am I crazy or did we really were in love? Perhaps I was the only one. Or maybe I was just some kind of distraction and entertainment during High School before finding "Mr. Perfect" in Manhattan. I mean, _darn it_, Rachel! I feel like I am the only one who really had feelings for you during these three years and especially that one last year. Or maybe you don't remember and I should remind you what happened that last year? You know like we were kind of always together, and it was just super perfect and awesome. Does that ring a bell? Oh, and _yes I was your first_, or maybe that was just a lie… We were also crowned prom queen and king. Yes, and also I think, I am not so sure…I think we were getting married, _right_? I feel so pathetic trying to be ironic…

And guess what Rachel, I know you lied. How could you do that to me? It breaks my heart to know that not only you give me back this stupid ring without a word, but also I had to learn from your neighbors that you were moving. Oh and no, not in another neighborhood in Lima, BUT IN LOS ANGELES CALIFORNIA? Did your perfect Manhattan boyfriend replaced my ring with a much more fancy and expensive one and you elope with him there and your fathers tag along? What about your Broadway dreams? What about NYADA? What about your friends here? What about me? (_Can I even ask that?_) You don't even know how I felt when I was at your front door, knocking on it like a fool for at least half an hour before your neighbor, Mrs. Smith, came and told me "_The Berrys moved to Los Angeles in California a few days ago. They left quickly and barely said goodbye._" I am back in Lima for my Christmas break, and I only came to your house to speak to you about that damn ring and wish you a happy Christmas/Hanukkah – like civilized people do. But apparently you decided not to be civilized with me anymore; what did I do to lose your respect Rachel? What did I do to lose your love…?

A part of me says I am better off without you, because honestly you no longer care about me; I am just some guy from high school you knew. But I cannot help think about you, us, how we were, and the way we still could be together. And believe me, it literally kills me to still feel this way about you. I wish I could hate you or even better I wish I wouldn't give a shit about you, just like you do, because it would mean I could be able to forget you for the rest of my life. I am just an idiot, I am _so fucking stupid_ to be holding on like this, but I can't let you go. I simply cannot. I don't know why, but I feel something in my heart, something that doesn't want to let it go. I guess that you don't choose love, but it chooses you. And when it has its damn grip on you, your heart, your soul, the way you eat, sleep, think, dream and breathe, when it has its grip on your "_whole entire you_", well there is nothing you can do, you can't escape its clutches – it takes over you. People always say to their love ones "_I love you too much_". I literally love you too much. I know how it feels to love someone too much to the point it breaks something in you, it hurts you.

I am not afraid or even ashamed of telling you my feelings, because I still love you Rachel. I still love you so, _so much_, just like the first day I told you so. Actually no, I love you even more than back that time. But what I fear is that you just don't care, and that you won't be there to say you love me back, _not anymore_. I wonder if you ever noticed how much you have brightened up my days, how life was easier with you. With you, I loved life; I always wanted more of everything, because I had you and I was strong, I was finally me. You gave me so much, and maybe I didn't deserve it but I truly felt like I could have taken over the world just with you by my sides. But it's not like this anymore. Life is just life. It's this dull, repetitive thing you go with everyday because you have to. You know how they say that "_only once in your life, you find that one person who can completely turn your world around_"? Well that's what happened to me, and now I have to live without you; knowing that your life goes on, that you're now with your perfect new boyfriend. I truly wish I could just forget you; I know I wrote I wanted to hate you, but I never could do that. Yes I am mad, but no, that doesn't change my feelings. And I try to tell myself that I've moved on, but yet I can't. No matter where I am, there's _always_ something that reminds me of you – and as always, when it happens, my heart can't stop from loving you and wishing you were still mine. Like, on my way home, there was some movie on the plane; and there was a musical section, I checked them out, and it has your favorite ones: Funny Girl, West Side Story, The Sound Of Music, Les Misérables…; or that one time at the base in Georgia when we were on leave, we had a permission just for the night. We went to a bar with the other guys, and there was music there. At one point "Faithfully" was blasting through the speakers, and I just couldn't breathe during the song because it is _our song_. And I was picturing you, almost seeing, hearing and feeling you next to me. You see, there 's always something that reminds me of you – _always_. Every night, I still sit on the edge of my bed, alone, and wonder whether you're thinking of me too. I want to believe you do. I know, I should have more pride and not tell you all of this, but at this point, I feel like I can tell you anything. And besides I am not even sure you will read this letter, since you moved to California and I don't have your new address. Weirdly no one from Glee has your new adress, they said they knew about California though. Mrs. Smith told me before I leave that your fathers took some dispositions with the mailman, for your mail to be transfered to Los Angeles, so if I wanted I could leave a note. But you know how cute and hold is Mrs. Smith, sometimes she looses her mind. Maybe you are reading this letter, maybe not and it is simply lost in some dusty post office in Lima.

I wish I could say I miss you, but no I don't because I _never_ cease to think about you. And sometimes, I catch myself almost speaking to you (not really you, since you know, you're not there) but it's almost as if you were still with me.

I love you Rachel. I will _always_. No matters if you're going to marry that perfect guy or if you never speak to me ever again and if I someday find a woman who love me and whom I love too and I make her my wife, I will never stop loving you – _never_.

I am not saying goodbye, because you will always be with me.

_Finn H._

* * *

**_AN2:_ Oh my! First thank you for your reviews, favoriting & following! It truly means a lot to me, more than you will ever know. For those of you who are wondering about Rachel's future, I've already plan what's going to happen : whether she lives or not... Only 2 more letters, the epilogue and it will be the end of Letter From The Front! Thank you for those of you who have been reading since day one & the new readers :)**

* * *

_Reviews are very much appreciated!_


	11. This Kind Of Love Leaves A Mark In You

**_AN:_ Rachel's fathers have a few words to say to Finn... One more letter and then it will be time for the epilogue! Well untill then, I hope you enjoy this letter! xoxo Camille!**

* * *

_Los Angeles_

_California_

_January 7th, 2013_

_Dear Finn,_

You must be surprised to receive this letter, especially from us. Please dear, keep reading, because we have important things to tell you. As you can see it by yourself, this letter is written by Hiram and me (LeRoy) from California. We know you are aware of our new residence's location. Indeed, Finn, we found our precious daughter crying floods of tears one morning over a letter. With all the concerns and worries, normal parents should have, we asked her what was wrong. How flabbergasted we were, after we learned that you were the one causing her all this pain. Rachel reluctantly, let us read your letter. This is the main reason of our writing.

Finn, our baby girl made her decision, she explain it to you and even gave you the reasons of this choice. She decided not to be a part of your life anymore and to continue hers with someone else; it's her choice, not ours. You know, it happens to everyone who grows up; you find out who you truly are and what you care about. We know, you might surely be thinking that we were the one "pushing" you away of her life, or that we are pleased to know that you are no longer her boyfriend and fiancé. But please, believe us when we say that we loved having you around back in Lima. You were good to our girl, you genuinely made her happy. We know, she meant and still means a lot to you – you two really made a cute couple and complemented each other. And as much as it hurts us to say this, we have to admit that you brought Rachel, something we were never able to offer her. You were her first love, and this kind of love, leaves a mark in you – so take comfort in the fact that wherever she will be, she will _never_ forget that. We are not saying this to cheer you up, we are simply being honest. When she got home after every one of your dates, she was always widely smiling, joyful and jumping on her feet – she was herself. Hiram and I, remember when our baby girl told us that she was in love and that you were the one her heart had chosen, but sadly you weren't sharing the same feelings. But one day, our precious angel came home and she was beaming, hyper, happier than ever and that is when we knew that something had happened between the two of you. You truly have no idea, of how much joy you brought in her life.

You know Rachel's life is not easy. She has two gay dads, her mother is the torment and tragedy of her life and people are not always willing to accept her determination, dreams and odd life style. But _you_ did it, you accepted her for who she is and for what she stands for, you never tried to change her; you accepted all of these things that one would say are her defaults or the bad side of her personality; but you embraced her personality and love those aspects of her life, that even herself has hard time to accept. Finn, we will never thank you enough for that. And we know we were kind of harsh with you for the wedding "thing", but what you did in the end, was the best thing you could have done. We were so thankful and proud of you. And that is the day, you have completely earn our respect, approbation and most of all, that's the day we accepted you in our family, because we knew you _really, truly, sincerely, genuinely, deeply_ loved our little princess.

Now Finn we have to ask you something. We demand you not to write to Rachel anymore. No letters, no mails, no phone calls, no emails, no Facebook or Twitter messages, no texting – nothing. Don't try to reach her by any ways given by any new technologies we wouldn't know about (see the previous list). It saddens us to do that, but it's Rachel's life, and you have to respect her choices, as tough as they are. So please, Finn, please never try to contact us ever again. We know this might sounds really harsh and inappropriate coming from us, but it will only do you good. Maybe it isn't our place to tell you this, and it's probably true, but you have to let go. It's hard, because you realize she already did, but you cannot keep living your life for her, you have to do what is good and what is right for you. We know Rachel already told you to "let go"; and she's right. You're a great kid, Finn; you have your life waiting for you, you are young and you have many great things to accomplish. It's only the beginning for you. You are going to be an amazing man later in life, so don't waste your time. Girlfriends and friends come and go, just focus on you and what's good for your future. That's what Rachel wants for you, and so do we.

It was nice knowing you and having you in Rachel and our lives. We will always remember you as a respectable and great friend and boyfriend.

Sincerely and farewell,

_Mr. Hiram and Mr. LeRoy Berry_

* * *

**_AN2:_ Thank you so much for your reviews, favoriting and following! It means a lot :)**

_Reviews are very much appreciated!_


	12. Everything Has Its Ending

**_AN:_ Sorry for only updating now... I've been busy with college starting again and a few other things going on in my life... Dear readers, this is the last letter, epilogue is being written at the moment. It was a pleasure to read all your reviews and to write this fanfiction. I should be updtaing the epilogue soon enough :) I really hope you had as much fun reading as I had writting :) (Well fun isn't the appropriate word, but you got me right?). Anyway, Rachel is finally writting to Finn. About time right?! This was pretty hard for me to write, so I didn't re-read it that much and edited pretty fast, so please bear with my poor grammar... Oh la la, I'm renting... Xo Camille!**

* * *

_Los Angeles_

_California_

_January 14th, 2013_

Dear Finn, my dear love,

I know reading this letter might be really shocking to you, and I apologize in advance if so. I said that my last letter was the last time you would heard from me, but I have one last thing to tell you, and I promise, this time really is my last letter. I am not writing to cause even more drama: I think I have done enough in that category during my life; I am only here to tell you the truth, the "real" truth. Because to be honest, what I wrote in my last letter to you, in November, was not exactly true. I know you are going to be mad, but please keep reading and keep in mind that if I did all of this, it was only for you, for your good; I wanted to protect you, but I only end up hurting you. I don't even know where to start; I have so much to tell you but so little time.

Remember in September when I wrote you and told you I was not feeling well but that I had a checkup planned with a doctor? Well the doctor was worried when my blood result came and he wanted me to undergo more tests; which I did. It appeared that I had a problem with my blood cells. What I am trying to explain to you and avoiding telling you at the same time, Finn, is that I have leukemia. I have cancer.

At first I was not scared; lots of people have cancer and nowadays there are lots of ways to treat and cure it. So I immediately started chemotherapy, but because of the side effects I was really weak and thus I had to quit NYADA. Although that broke my heart, I knew I had to do it, and focus on me and my recovery. My fathers insisted that I stayed home until I recover, so I came back in Lima; at that time, I was home all day long and I couldn't do anything else than stay in bed, so I started to think about a lot of things: my life, NYADA, my family, our time at McKinley, my friends, my dreams and most of all, _you_, Finn. And that is when I wrote you the breakup letter. When I think back about it, I was sure to be doing something good, now I know I've only been causing more troubles than anything else. I broke up with you Finn, but that truly was the last thing I wanted to do. But I did it, because I wanted to protect you. I wanted you to stay focus on you future, you dreams, your goals and why you were in the army. I thought it wasn't fair to impose you this, to have to deal with a sick girlfriend with cancer. You see, the silly part is that I know you would have wanted to stay with me, even though it would have been hard, really hard. Because this is how you are Finn, you have a kind soul; you are a young man with a heart bigger than anyone I know. You always want to do the good, and want to please people before pleasing yourself. You are generous and caring; and you have always been like this with me, _always_ putting my happiness first, before yours. That is why I had to lie to you, and trust me, I am not proud of it, but at that time, it seemed to be a good thing. So I lied and didn't tell you about my cancer, but I knew you would have suspected something. Why would I leave you just because of a compact schedule,_ right_? That is why I told you about my supposed new boyfriend. Well, truth is, he doesn't exist. No one has ever replaced you in my heart, and no one ever will. I made that lie up, because I knew that would be something believable. And here's the horrible part: I asked everyone not to tell you the truth. Santana, Kurt, everyone from Glee club, your mom and even my dad and daddy. At first, most of them didn't wanted to lie to you, but then I explained everything and they somehow agreed it would be good for you, at least the time you were in Georgia. As hard as it was to let you go, I knew I was doing something right for once. And as selfish as it is, I wanted to let you "fly free" and then come back when I was healed. Granted, it was risky, because you could have met someone else and let's face it Finn, I am a_ really really_ and very lucky and blessed girl to have had you; but this was the right thing for you.

A few weeks later, I had to go to the Lima medical center for my chemo and they wanted to run more tests. I didn't mind, it was part of the process and at that point I wasn't even questioning what doctors were doing: all I wanted was to healed and have my life back. But a few days before Christmas, my fathers received a letter from the hospital about these tests. The result showed that I was doing worse. I am not responding to the chemotherapy anymore, it means that the treatment doesn't work. My last hope is to have a bone marrow transplantation as soon as possible. The only problem is that I have a rare blood type (something I would have been proud of in other circumstances) and only a little chance to survive such a surgery if I'm lucky enough to find a matching donor in the first place. This is the reason we moved to Los-Angeles; they have the best oncology service of the country here. And even though it was a lot of stress, money and worries for my fathers, they insisted they wanted the best for me.

That's almost the end of this crazy story. Before moving to California, I send you back your ring. I was scared and lonely. Sure, my fathers were very supportive, so were all of our friends, but I was missing someone else, _you_ _Finn_. And when that happened, everything else didn't matter. All I wanted was _you_. I wanted to be in your arms, and hearing you say that you love me and that everything would be okay. I wanted you to tell me you were going to be with me until my last breath; even crazier, I wanted you to tell me, that a matching donor had been found. But I knew I had to be strong for you and not tell you the truth. Even though this ring was the last thing left from the best days of my life, I had to give it back to you; it wasn't fair to keep it. _Oh Finn_… But you wrote back. I don't know if it's luck, serendipity, fate or something else, but Mrs. Smith was there, and she told you about California and the mail arrangement. I asked my daddy and dad to write you back, because you were still holding on. Kurt, Santana, actually everyone told me, you weren't letting go. So I thought that maybe, this would be the final little push you needed to go on and live your life full of promises.

Now, here's why I am finally writing this letter. During my routinely daily checkup this morning, I knew something was up when I saw my doctor's serious face. I asked what was wrong and he said he wanted my dads to be here with me because he had to tell us something important. This meeting ended a few minutes ago and my dads are currently speaking with the doctor in his office, as I am writing to you now. What was _oh_ so important is that my blood results have worsened, which is bad, _really_ bad. He said that if we don't find a donor soon and if my next blood results are even worse, I have a few months left, maybe a short year if I'm really lucky. I am not writing to complain to you about this, but because I want you to know the truth and to be able to move on in your life and also because I won't probably be able to write anything as I am getting weaker and weaker as days go by. I am dying, but this doesn't mean I have the right to make your life a living hell. I am sorry for all my lies,_ Finn_. For this situation, for everything. You will probably never understand why I did all of this. But trust me, I really thought I was doing something right for you. You know how in your last letter, you said a part of you wants me and a part of you says you better off without me? That's what I thought and wanted for you. I wanted you to forget me, even if it meant you could love someone else or even hate me… All I wanted was your happiness, but obviously we're not good at being happy when we are apart… Nevertheless, as hard as it will be when I will be gone, please don't stop living your life. I want you to live your dreams, believe in yourself and keep going on, because you are going to accomplish amazing things Finn, I am sure of it. And if you ever begin to miss me, just look at the sky, I'll be next to Finn the star, the one you gave me during our last Christmas together. I'll _always_ be looking over you, Finn. I promise.

I am not scared to die. I had a great life you know. I had an overly loving and caring family, great friends, I was blessed with talent that most people will never have, we won Nationals, and I was accepted into NYADA, but most of all, I was loved. People can live a long life and never know love. I had the chance to love and to _be loved_; and even if I was offered extra years to live in exchange of what we had, I'd refuse in a heartbeat. What we shared, most people will never ever have that. I was blessed, lucky or whatever you want to call it, but I had you. Finn, you were my _first_ love and you will be my_ last_ one. I don't know what your feeling are after this letter, maybe you hate me, _but god_, I love you Finn. I always have, even during this stupid situation I started. Even though neither of us know what the future holds, I know one thing for sure: you are the best thing that ever happened to me. Thank you Finn. Thank you for everything. I don't even know with what I should start, the list is long. I owe you so much, _so so much_. I wish I could press rewind and live again every moment we shared together and fully enjoy them again, a second time - _a last time._

I know I have no rights to do that, but I have two last things I would like to ask you. The first one is silly. I know that when I will die, my dad and daddy will be devastated, it would means a lot to me if you help them with the funerals and sing with the other Glee kids during the ceremony; and maybe, only if you feel up to, you could sing, just you this time, _our_ song, Faithfully. The last thing I have to ask you is actually not really a favor but more like a wish. Please, Finn, be happy. That is all I want and wish for you. Take care of you and believe in you. If I learned something from all of this, is that you have _nothing_ to lose in life. So please, try your hardest when it seems impossible, be dedicate to what you do, applied the best of yourself, stand for what you believe in, and last but not least be happy and don't be scared to love someone else – you deserve a happy ending Finn.

I guess this is the end of this letter, I wish I could continue and write forever, but we both know that it isn't possible, and that everything has its ending; and mine, is a good one I guess. Despite all of this, all our silly fights, and our different times when we were apart for some stupid reasons; I have no regrets in my life, it all made us stronger and deeper in love. I have no bitterness, maybe a little for wasting these last months we could have had together but now I can leave this world happy and peacefully, and that's mostly thanks to you.

I love you Finn. _Always have and always will_ – remember I'll be looking over you from above!

This is the part where I think I should tell you goodbye; so, farewell Finn.

Love, forever and always,

_Rachel Barbra Berry_

* * *

**_AN2:_ Reviews are very much appeciated ;)**


	13. Epilogue

**_AN:_ Epilogue's here! I'm so sorry, it took me ages to update, but I do have a good excuse though: college has kept me busy since I went back! It's been such a pleasure to write this story, although it was not a happy and dramaless one, I had fun and I truly enjoyed and loved all your reviews! Thank you so much for your unfailing support especially two persons who will recognize themselves... ;)**  
**I've already a few ideas for a next oneshot so stay around :) Anyway, I'm ranting (as usual though) so I'm going to let you read! Hope you will like it! I need to let you know before you start, that I got a little carried away lol... (blame the "makeover" episode and the "breakup" promo!)**

**Thank you all so much again!**

**Much love,**

**Xo. Camille!**

* * *

It was a warm summer evening. Although it wasn't technically autumn yet, red, yellow and light brown leaves were smoothly being lifted by the light breeze of this early night, wandering in disarray to finally softly land on the ground. The sun had just started to fade away in the cloudless sky, to let a brightly and shining full moon, light this very last day of summer and to accompany the gleaming and twinkling stars. Stars. These were Rachel's favorite obsession; but not anymore. Finn dragged his gaze away from the shiny and luminous spheres in the sky, to focus on the surroundings in front of him.

The ceremony was going to start in about ten minutes. It was being held in a beautiful park, which he had managed to privatize for the occasion. The organizer team, who took care of everything, really had done a good job. He knew that Rachel would have preferred if he had done it all by himself but he wanted everything to be perfect for her, so he had without any hesitations paid a huge sum of money to get the best people on the market specialized for these types of events. He had agreed with them for an unconventional white theme. Everything from the chairs for the guests, the small stage for his opening speech, to the roses and the peonies, was white. Even a large pergola was decorated with elegant flowers and withy-transparent floating curtains. The guests' chairs were organized in four long rows, as many people were attending the ceremony. Most of them were already sit and waiting. Standing before them, a small stage had been set up with a microphone for the various people who were going to give a speech tonight. To embellish the setting, the team had placed candles in different places; they were glowing and giving a delicate yet simple atmosphere to the ceremony. Some smooth classic music was playing softly. All in all, it was elegant but not too opulent; it was just gorgeous, tasteful and beautiful. Just like her. Just like his Rachel. The organizer team he hired really had done an incredible job and although it had already cost him a lot of money, he noted in the back of his mind to give an extra tip to everyone. Finn scanned, with a quick glance, the surroundings. All these white decorations and these people wearing fancy clothes for the ceremony made him think that tonight, really could be a wedding. His wedding with Rachel. Their wedding. A smile spread across his face at this thought, but instantly faded away as he remembered it was not. Yes, it did look like a wedding ceremony for two people in love, becoming husband and wife in front of their love ones, except it was not. He was not marrying Rachel tonight; it was an all kind of different ceremony.

He gave a quick glance to his watch, he still had a little time before going on that stage and opening his heart in front of everyone, Rachel and he knew. To be honest, he was anxious –_ really anxious_. It wasn't often that Finn would give speech in front of such a huge gathering, but that was not the element causing his stress, after all he had already sing in front of much bigger crowd back in his "McKinley days". He actually was more worried about not being able to fully express all his feelings for Rachel, all they have been through, individually and together, until this day. He had prepared a speech with the help of Kurt, so he reached for his pocket and re-read, for the umpteenth time, the words he had written on some little card with his brother. But it just felt wrong, it just fell _so damn wrong_. It wasn't a school presentation, it was a speech for Rachel, and shouldn't it be spontaneous and coming deep straight from his heart instead of memorizing some words and reciting them? As he was wondering about this, he suddenly felt a hand caressing his shoulder. He turned around and was face to face with his mother. He was glad to see her, especially now. She had always been such a good example for him, he loved her so much and all he has always wanted was to make her happy and proud. But after all he had been through with Rachel, especially after learning about her leukemia, he has found in his mother a confident, a rock and a shoulder to cry on. Honestly, without her he couldn't have done it.

Carole gave him a warm and loving hug.

_"Finn, I am so proud of you for doing this. When have you become such a wise and caring man?"_

He chuckled a little; this was typical, his mom always has the ability to make him feel better.

_"I guess, I should thanks my genetics!"_

Joking and smiling was really not what he wanted to do right now, he was tense and nervous, but he didn't want to raise any worries in his mother. Well, maybe, but he should remember that she's his mother, and therefore she can read him like an open book.

_"What's wrong Finny? Is there something wrong?"_

_Yep_. See, she totally noticed it.

_"I… I just… I don't know. It's just so damn hard to do this. To go on that stage in front of all these people, and give that speech. Speech that I prepared with Kurt, but the more I read these cards the less I seem to remember what I am supposed to say. I really want to do something great for Rachel, but I am sure I am going to screw it all up!"_

_"Listen to me, Finn. Whatever you're going to do on that stage, is going to be amazing. If you do it for her, with your heart, then it's going to be absolutely perfect. Don't pressure yourself; don't be too hard on yourself! These people are not here to judge you, they're here for Rachel; and I am sure they will see how sincere you are."_

_"But mom, what if I am not good enough? I really want to make a good impression; it is something really important what we are doing today"_

_"As I said, speak with your heart Finn, not your mind."_

He was about to answer but a man from the organizing team, wearing a dark tuxedo, approached and told them it was time to start. He quickly disappeared to inform other guests it was time to join their seats.

_"I have to go and take my seat next to Burt, your brother and the Berrys. But I know you are going to be good. Better than good, Finn. Just feel and then speak. I love you."_ With that she gave him a kiss on the chick, tidied his hair, fixed his tie, and walked to her front seat.

It was time. It was _now_.

As one of Rachel's best friend, Kurt was the one to actually really open the ceremony. The music stopped as he walked on stage. As usual, Kurt was stylized from head to toes. After testing the mic, he cleared his voice.

_"Mesdames and Messieurs, we are all gathered here today for a very special occasion. We are here for Rachel. But you all probably already know that… I…erm… I am going to let my brother, Finn Hudson, who you all know, starting with a speech, as he is the best among us to speak about our dear Rachel."_

Kurt was definitely getting overwhelmed. Although he had of course speak French, his voice was trembling; he was stammering and hesitating a little bit. He was clearly being really emotional in his "Kurt way" as he had once explained it to Finn. But he wasn't the only one letting his emotion taking control. The air was charge with some kind of tense electricity, as if everyone knew something important was happening.

With sweaty palms and a heart beating so fast it could literally explode in his ribcage, Finn slowly made his way up to the stage.

_"Mister Berry and Mister Berry, mom, Burt, Kurt, Mister and Misses Schuester, Misses Sylvester, everyone from Glee club, ladies and gentlemen, distinguished guests. Thank you for being here tonight for this very special and meaningful event."_

Finn took a deep breath; it didn't help to release his stress but at least he tried. By now he was probably sure he was going to have a heart attack or just simply faint, due to the pressure. But he continued.

_"Before telling you more about this, I would like to talk to you about Rachel, because after all, everything we are doing tonight is for her. It fills my heart with sincere joy and emotion to see how many we are here tonight, in her honor, just for her. I am sure she appreciates it too. If I have to start about something, it would be about her ambition, because we all know…"_

He stopped for a moment, and took the time to look at the audience. Everyone was listening to him, almost expecting him to do or say something. Why was he stopping in the middle of his phrase? But honestly, Finn didn't feel like he was doing the right thing. He was ranting. That was not good, people weren't here to hear him going on and on and on about how happy he was to see them. Clearly he had to do something. His mother's words echoed in his head, and he understood he has to forget about the speech he had prepared, he had to do it with his guts, to go for it, be spontaneous and genuinely sincere.

_"You know what?"_

He tried to breathe, but that didn't change anything. He was so nervous, actually he was pretty sure he had never feel like this before. He put his right hand in his pocket, reached for the cards where his speech was written and show them to everyone.

_"I prepared a speech with my brother, Kurt. He is probably going to kill me for what I am about to do by the way. So we spend probably, erm… five days writing this and rehearsing it, right Kurt?"_

Everyone was now looking at Kurt, waiting for some sort of approval from him. He quickly nodded his head, clearly confused as to what Finn was doing.

_"So yes, five days. It was long, I had to use the thesaurus a lot, Kurt almost lost it when he read what I came up with the first time as a rough draft and I probably swore ten times I was going to quit and cancel this evening. But deep in my heart, I knew I was doing something important for Rachel and that's what I kept in mind all the time. And now you are all probably wondering why I am telling you this, right?"_

Finn examined everyone sitting in front of him, trying to see their reactions; but no one was moving nor saying anything.

_"You see, I don't feel comfortable standing here in front of you and just delivering this speech. It's not what Rachel deserves. She deserves the best, and someone told me that if I did this speech with my heart it would be the best. So I am going to give up on that speech, sorry Kurt, and just telling you how I feel and what I think is important."_

He took a deep breath, and for the first time since the beginning of this day, he actually felt like he really was breathing.

_"Rachel had always been inspired, strong but sensible at the same time. She was determined and knew what she wanted, but she also was a caring and loving person with people who took time to get to know her. I am sure misters Berry and many of you tonight, know what her big dream was. Broadway. When most people give up because they are too afraid not to be good enough, or because they don't work hard enough or simply because they don't even try, well, Rachel dedicated herself with determination to work hard to the task at hand. And she succeeded, after graduating from McKinkey, she moved to the city, her city, New-York. Oh you have no ideas, how much I've heard about it when we were dating: hours and hours!"_

He looked in front of him and saw some people chuckling – yes, he probably wasn't the only one with who Rachel ranted about New-York.

_"Anyway, after moving from small Lima, Ohio to the Big Apple, Rachel was attending NYADA, or the New York academy of the dramatic arts if you haven't heard of it, which I am sure you have. It was all her dreams coming true. The school where she finally belonged, the place where she was going to finally become who she truly wanted to be: a star. She had already planned everything; from graduating from NYADA, to her first Broadway show, to the speech she would give when she would receive her first Tony award and even what she would tell her life-time role model and idol, Barbra Streisand, when she would finally meet her. Everything was planned; she just had to follow her plans and all would finally come to place. It was the deal. Except not. See, life had something else in store for Rachel. Everything she wanted, everything she almost had and everything she worked so hard for was crushed down when on September 2012 she learned about her cancer. Saying that it was not fair is not even appropriate to the situation. I know we always say 'oh she really didn't deserve that', as if someone else would deserve to have leukemia? But Rachel truly didn't deserve that. Maybe it's unfair from me to say this, sure I am biased, but I don't care, I stand for this statement. Rachel should never have had to face this."_

Pausing for a moment, he now felt like what he was doing was the right thing. It was still hard to speak about it, he still feel really bitter and angry about "_that_" but that's how it happened; and even if it meant he was probably going to end his speech tearing up, and that Puck would never leave that down, he wouldn't tell her story, _their_ story in a different way.

_"Today, it's going to be twelve years. Twelve years that she was diagnosed and twelve years that she did the most stupid thing ever."_

People where whispering. Why would he say she was stupid if he wanted to honor her tonight?

_"Don't get me wrong, Rachel did something stupid, that doesn't mean I think she is stupid. But what she did was really silly. It's been twelve years and there isn't a single day that goes by, where I still wondered why she did that. You see, when Rachel learned about her leukemia she first started to ignore me, as if I was going to forget about her just because she didn't returned any of my phone calls, emails or letters. But what she didn't planed, is that I was holding on. I mean, who would be stupid enough to let go a girl like her, right?"_

Peoples softly laughed a little bit, but just enough to give him some confidence to go on.

_"So that's when she did the stupid thing I was telling you about , she broke up with me, pretending she was too busy and that she had met someone else. And she even convinced our friends and family to make me believe that, didn't she, Santana?"_

He remembered reading Santana's letter, where she told him, Rachel was dating some kind of Manhattan big shot. Everyone turned to look at Santana, who blushed a little bit. She wasn't particularly proud of this, but at that time, when she did it, it seemed to be a good thing for her friends.

_"That just reminds me of that one chick movie, Rachel made me watch. What's the name again? Erm… Oh yeah, a walk to remember, except that our version is way more dramatic, but it's Rachel, so of course it had to be dramatic. Anyway, when Rachel left me, a part of myself left me. I wasn't the same. Days were going by, life was just life and I lost interest in everything. You know how they say that only one person is missing and the whole world seems depopulated? Well that was the thing for me; I didn't want to go on, to move on and accept the fact that I had to live without her because of what? A busy schedule? A fancy Manhattan guy? So during all this time, before she told me the truth about her condition, I never give up on her, on us. Because you see, there's nothing in the world, more important than having one person who means everything to you, and Rachel was that person. I fell in love with her back when we were together in high school, but I fell even deeper in love with her during the time I was apart from her."_

Not only for Finn, but also for the guests, it felt as time had stop. The atmosphere was charged with emotions, and even though Finn had tried to add slight touches of humor to his speech, many guests had watery eyes and some women were drying their eyes.

_"Rachel was the love of my life and she always will be. I know it sounds cheesy, but I am sure some big important man up there, decided that we were meant for each other, just as if we were connected as one. We went through a lot together during high school, but never would I ever think we would have to go through this."_

Clearly on the edge, Finn could feel his voice beginning to tremble a little bit, due to his emotion.

_"When Rachel finally sent me her last letter, the one in where she told me this entire crazy story, all her silly schemes and how sick she was, I was bittersweet. Sure I was relieved and beyond happy to know that she was still in love with me. But on the other hand, I was really mad. Mad to know life was so unfair, mad that we lost our last months together, mad that she decided for me that she wasn't worth my love or that she was a burden in my life. Let's just say, I was furious about everything and to everyone."_

Finn slowly breathed and look to his audience. Not a single person wasn't attentive to his story, everyone was listening to every words coming from his mouth. He even spotted Kurt and his mom holding hands and crying, while the Berrys had their shoulders shaking as they were slowly crying too, at this painful memory. Although he knew he was also about to probably share a tear or two too, he decided to go on.

_"By the time I received her letter, I was still in Georgia doing my basic training, but nothing, really nothing could have hold me back there. I took the next flight to California, in the hour I read her letter. By the time I got to Los Angeles, Rachel was still alive. By the time I got to the private Clinique she was being hospitalized, she went into coma. And when I was finally able to visit her in her room, I couldn't believe what I saw."_

His breath was sharpen by all these heartbreaking memories. Slowly breathing he put a hand on the mic and decided to continue.

_"She seemed so small and exhausted. She had lost a lot of weight, not that she needed to, but she seemed so weak and fragile. I was scared to hold her hand at first; I thought I was going to break it with my giant one. And I promise you, as I was watching her, being branched to all these machines, and seeing her slowly breathing along the bip coming from these same machines, I never felt so down or weak in my entire life. Rachel wasn't gone, but I wanted to die. I couldn't bear seeing her like this. It was too painful."_

He stopped there, and allowed himself to finally shed the tears he was holding in for so long. Damn Puck or whoever who was going to make fun of him for this, he didn't even care.

_"So I know, it's been long since all of this happened, twelve years to be exact; but if I asked all of you, to come tonight it's for Rachel. You are all aware that we organize this fundraising night, every year to collect money for the Berry-Hudson Cancer foundation; But tonight is special, I have two special announcements! Well first, I'd like to thank every single person who donated, who has been donating or who just started donating to our foundation, it is with your help that we our able to keep research going on and to find donors faster than ever before with more prevention. We are proud to let you know that we are planning to expend our activities to a national level; we will still be operating in Lima of course."_

Finn had to stop speaking because people were clapping and rising from their seats. Although most of them still had wet eyes or teary chicks, they were all smiling.

_"Thank you. Thank you to every one of you."_

Clearly, that didn't stop people from continuing to clap. After a few, though, they stopped and Finn took that as an opportunity to go on.

_"Actually for this second information, I'm going to ask someone to join me on that stage, as it is much more of a personal level, but we want you to be the first to hear about. Of course this evening wouldn't be the same without her. Please baby, come up here."_

And as everyone was _aww_-ing, _ahh_-ing, clapping and smiling, Finn felt all the pressure coming down. He was _so_ happy to have done all of this. This evening was a success.

_"Ladies and gentlemen, everyone; please cheer for this beautiful woman, the one and only, the love of my life, my wife, Rachel Berry-Hudson!"_

_Of course_, Finn had to brag about her. Wherever he is and whenever he has the occasion he always does.

Clearly blushing but, as always, appreciating the spotlights and the crowd's clapping, Rachel made her way onto the stage, where she joined Finn. After giving a quick yet full of love kiss, and lacing her fingers into his left hand's ones, she gently placed her right hand on her belly and caressed it – where a cute little bump had already appeared for a few months now…

Letting Finn announcing the big news to everyone, Rachel slowly rested her head on his shoulder, or at least his arm – even with high heels, she barely reached his shoulder – and she peacefully let her mind wander, and smiled. Everything has finally settled down and they were ridiculously happy that it shouldn't be allowed. They clearly finally "_have it all_".

It's been twelve years she was living thanks to a successful yet desperate and almost hopeless, last minute transplantation. It's been more than twelve years that Finn was by her sides. And in more than twelve years he still will be but with one more person.

Yes, it's been twelve years.

_"Love is patient, love is kind._

_It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres._

_Love never fails."_

* * *

**_AN2:_ I told you I got carried away... lol And of course I wasn't going to kill Rachel! I always write kind of angsty and dramatic fanfic, but I love happy endings! I've read too much fanfic where Rachel or Finn died, althought it was absolutely well-written it brakes my heart everytime! Anyway, again, thank you so so much to every one of you!**

**Reviews are very much appreciated! :)**


End file.
